Corrupt a wish

OHGOD WHAT THE. O_O

I wish Kira made a wish...

Ooops, I wish I did too, but then my brain explodes.

I wish I could wish with a wish to grant my wishes.

Granted, but it corrupts them every time.

I wish this wouldn't happen.

BUT IT DOES O3O

I wish I had a job.

granted but you work at the supermarket and get nothing for your pay

i wish that we could create pie without the ingredients

Granted, but it's called invisible pie, since it's not there.

I wish it wasn't so awkward.

Granted but then you become so close you wish you could have the awkwardness so you could get the hell away.

I wish for chocolate.

Granted but it's vomit chocolate

I wish for a chainsaw

Granted but you kill yourself with it.

I wish I could flyyyyyyyyy.

Granted but you actually can't and people think your crazy

I wish for nothing

Granted, but you get a pointy stick as well.

I wish he was online.

Granted, but it still says he's offline.

I wish my neck didn't itch DX

(Bet you it would, too. >>)

Granted, but now the bottom of your foot itches.

I wish this would just bloody hurry up already.

Granted, but it hurries too fast and rushes out the door...have fun catching it.

I wish I never made this wish >

Granted, but then you create a time paradox and turn into ghost slime goo stuff.

I wish homestuck would update, lol

Granted, but it is the beginning of a 1000 page arc about the 48 player Squiddle session that created the troll session...

I wish that I didn't have to go to hair salon to get my hair cutted.

Granted but then your hair grows and grows and grows until it's over 50 feet long.

I wish I wasn't in the habit of going to bed after 2am and not getting up until after 12pm.

Granted, but you're now in the habit of going to bed at 5am and waking up at 4pm.

I wish this thing would just stay sleeping for a long time.

Granted, but its idea of a long time is only five days and then you have something that never sleeps...whatever it is.

I wish that I'll get good grades in my classes.

Granted; your grades are good, but you never learnt anything.

I wish this would go 'waaaaay.

Granted, but then all the A's disappear.

I wish I was a superhero

Granted, but your superpower is "lactokinesis". Power of dairy products.
/Misfits reference

I wish I could read this in peace.

Granted, but it's because everyone is DEAD. Good going.

I wish I could get all A's in my classes 'cause I'm smart.

Granted, but then you get sick and miss all of your classes and fail.

I wish I wasn't failing a class...

Granted, but it's just one class you're not failing.

I wish my bunny could run free in the backyard and not run away so then she isn't cooped up in her cage in my room all the time.